Tag!

Hic est Paradoxa. =P I feel very silly today. So...

Ashley at Random Thoughts tagged anyone who either loves black, owns a ferret, or plays guitar.

Well... I happen to love black, and I play guitar... sort of. =P No ferrets, thanks.

Anyway, here goes...

1. How many toes do you have?
Duh. 12. *sarcasm* What kind of question is that?

2. How many bones have you broken?
None that I know of. Although I may have done something goofy to my right eyebrow... a few years ago I got knocked on the head really hard right above my right eye and couldn't see out of half of that eye for a bit over a day. Occasionally I can still feel the weather changing in that bone...

3. Name an epic thing that you have done.
I wrote two "epic" fantasy novels, which, in my opinion, are putrid.

4. If you had a pet lemming, what would you name him?
IF. I would name him Pauline.

5. What color are the clothes you're wearing right now?
Blue jeans, greenish-blue shirt, brown sweatshirt, black socks.

6. How awesome are orca whales on a scale of one to ten?
Um... 5? They're kind of cool, I suppose.

8. How old do you want to be when you die?
Don't care. But I don't want to end up in a nursing home. Maybe die in the line of duty or something.

9. Name a pet peeve and an addiction.
Pet peeve, eh? Poor punctuation in scholarly publications. Addiction? I'm like a Jedi in that sense. I usually kick out anything that exerts control over my life (other than Christ-endorsed things such as parents and government).

10. Write a paragraph detailing your life. 100 word minimum.
Sorry, no can do. It's not that there isn't a life to detail; it's that I don't want to detail it on Blogger.

11. Name one thing that isn't really a secret, but that you haven't really gotten around to telling anyone.
Ummm... I don't know.

12. Name another pet peeve.
HTML.

13. Sprechen Sie deutsch?
It's actually Sprichst du Deutsch. And no, I don't. I got the translation from WordMonkey. Sprechen sie Deutsch means They speak German. =P

14. Tell a joke.
Sorry, I'm joke-challenged. =$

15. How many of the questions have you answered in a witty manner so far?
Define witty.

16. Compose a haiku.
It is five o'clock.
I should go and wash my hair.
But I don't want to.

(Yes, that was a haiku, if a very poor haiku.)

17. Have you ever noticed how sour candies taste even more sour if you rub them on the side of your tongue?
Nope. Probably because I've never rubbed sour candy on the side of my tongue.

18. What book(s) are you reading at the moment?
The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens. Hilarious.

19. How many doors are there in your house?
I have no idea and I don't honestly care.

20. How would you solve a problem like Maria?
How would you catch a cloud and pin it down?

21. Think of something about yourself. Anything. Go on, think of it.
Um. I'm 5' 8".

Now think of something more interesting. Write it down here.
I've traveled out of the country three times and been to both Alaska and Hawaii. (Wait, that was two... oh well.)

22. What's wrong with your hands?
They're really long and skinny. My friend's brother-in-law says I have skeleton hands. But I guess that's good because I play the piano. Also, I have a giant scab underneath my right pointer fingernail because I accidentally slammed it in the car door and didn't realize it until I went to walk away and bent the finger backwards... it's a long, painful story. =P

24. What's your favorite show tune?
Um... like TV show? Probably Mission: Impossible (yes, that used to be a TV show).

25. Okay, you can tell us what that first thing you thought of for number 21 was. We all want to know.
Uh... you expect me to remember? Sorry, but my mind just discards all unnecessary information... and some necessary information, too.

I tag...
Anyone who dislikes sugar, knows what a Lotus Elise is (and why it's cool), or thinks that American Idol is overrated. Or all of the above.