Wednesday, March 31, 2010

De Mortalis

What words does one say when one comes face to face with death?

For once, I am at a loss. As you all know, I have an opinion on most things. Now... well, I guess the cold, rational side of me has been taken over by my lesser-known emotional side. My rational side says that death is a part of life and therefore inevitable. My emotional side is screaming "NO!!"

You see, I just learned that my great-grandmother passed away. I wasn't super-close to her, but I was close enough to care about her. My family has known for a while that her body was slowly shutting down, but that doesn't make the actual death any easier to swallow. It would be one thing if we knew she was a Christian, but we don't.

(I keep saying "we." I mean "I." When I talk about touchy subjects, I tend to revert to collective pronouns.)

Oh, I'm not used to this. Typically, I'm so unemotional that I could pass for a Vulcan. "Pain is weakness leaving the body..." yada, yada, yada. (Yeah, I know that's not a Vulcan quote.) But now, my emotions are all over the place. Grief, like physical pain, comes in waves, I suppose.

I was going to make this a pseudo-deep musing on the brevity of human life--hence the Latin title, which is a somewhat morbid play on the Roman expression, "Di Immortales" (lit. "Immortal Gods"--kind of like "Oh my goodness"). But now that I'm writing (attempting to write), my thoughts are more like a pit of quicksand than a clear well. Obviously, I'm in no state to be writing anything, least of all "articles" with any sort of depth or lucidity. So I'll leave depth to David and Solomon.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me.
Your rod and your staff comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

And finally, from a good friend of mine...
Psalm 73:28
But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.

So with that, I'll put my trust in God and stop yapping.

(P.S. Forgive me if I sounded gothic. I'm not obsessed with death [although I did go through a slightly questionable phase during junior high/early high school]. I've just never seen "Azrael" this close before.)


  1. I'm one of those people who doesn't know what to say when other people go though sad things, so this comment is probably not very helpful...

    But then it seems bad not to leave a comment in this situation... Rrrgh!!!

    Well, then, I guess I won't really say anything.


    P.S. Will you be at Youth Group tonight?

  2. Thanks, Ellie. Your comment actually was helpful... it showed me that you care, which is very nice.

    Yeah, obviously I wasn't at YG last night... I went to a Passover Seder at a friend's house instead.


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